Feeling My Time

These past few months I've seriously hit rock bottom,nothing interest me anymore.I've spend most of my day feeling sad and doing practically anything just to gain back that happiness I have not felt in ages.I'm doing anything I can possibly do to keep my mind off depression.

I don't cut nor take painkillers anymore and i can guaran-DAMN-tee thats its hard for me to go through each day without them. What happen to Ells you might ask?Guess she forgot about me and I guess you can say she erased every aspect of me in her life.Everybody's happy thats good to know,i think.The pursue of finding happiness continues.I miss the feeling of happiness,honestly I don't know what it feels like to be happy,its very sad actually to know that a person forget the feeling of happiness.

It wont be long till I'll do something stupid,I mean get real I'm a human being I crack under immense stress and depression and what do human beings do when under severe stress and depression?ANYTHING.I am severely deprive of my happiness.They say there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and I swear my tunnel of sadness doesn't compare to the Nile and the great wall of China plus together,I guess its a really damn long tunnel which means no light for a very long time.

I seriously miss knowing someone's there for me and ALWAYS feeling free.I like people to keep on pushing untill I tell them whats wrong its not that I love people to waste their time on me,it shows me that they really care enough to push like shit,I'm not a attention seeker i just need to be cared everytime and I need someone nearly most of the day,I'm vulnerable,I'm weak whatever you want to call me go ahead,its the way I am.Deal with it!

Tomorrow school,pretend to be happy again yay....I used to enjoy my school life thats its like shit,most of the people in it are shit!Either I'm speaking the truth or I seriously need anger management along with psychiatrist OR/AND a psychologist.I'm trying my utmost to keep everyone happy and maintain my grades but its hard to achieve that when I'm fighting a very large tide.It just feels like at any moment I could just snap and lose my mind.

I need a rest,Ill post sometime soon.

Highlights-Aston Villa 0-Manchester United 2
My bicycle got finally fix
I bought a new cutter