I can't & Don't want to escape from it...

*Take note I'm planning to release a new blog which will focus more on my "problem".Will confirm soon.


As weird as it seems I don't want to run away from this problem.For those who have chat or know about this problem you should know what I'm referring to.I don't like to leave things unfinished but at the same time how can I solve the problem when I don't even have the guts to approach it.By strength and will of god maybe one day I will confront it.But I seriously doubt I could handle the result if it doesn't go my way.I mean I'm not forcing it to go my way but if it naturally doesn't I just don't know what to do next.

I'm tired of pretending that I'm over it when clearly I'm far from over from it.I just thought it would fade away and by distracting myself it would just go away.But it didn't the more I try to distract myself from it the more it get worse.The more I try to forget about it,the more I think about it and the more I try to hate it the more I love it.I'm at the point where its my main priority besides god that is.God comes first. Cause simply without god there I wouldn't be here.Yes I'm trying to be more religious got a problem with that?If you do well i don't see how thats my problem.

*Note that I'm trying to use words or sentences that will hide the identity of the problem.If the sentence is weird do forgive me but I do NOT want the problem to be known.If you want to know directly please chat with me.

I am stuck in between two very opposite situation.The first situation is I want the problem to be completely pressure free.I don't want to give it any pressure just want it happy without or without me.But on the other hand I want it to give me first priority which is selfish you can say but well I don't know I get jealous fast and well basically I suck real bad.But if your going to ask me which is more important to me then the answer would be just want the problem to be happy with or without me though it'll hurt me I'll cope with it somehow like I always do.


Some pictures since I'm bored..